A Small Gathering
Just you and the staff. No one will be hurt. Several will.
Tanks Anyway is an original turn-based tank artillery game in 3D, and a comedy. Up to eight tanks share a stretch of hilly ground. On your turn you set a bearing, an elevation and the power, allow for the wind, and fire.
The ground gives way where the shells land, so the hill you hid behind this turn may be a hole by the next. The running joke is relentless politeness while shelling your guests.
The look is retro: blue contour lines on land shaped by simulated erosion, with scanlines you can switch off.
- Up to 8 seats in a match, and bots fill the empty ones.
- Deformable ground. Craters, shafts and the odd mound.
- A little driving on your own turn, about 15 m on the flat. Hills cost more.
- Six kinds of weather, a new forecast each round.
- A gift shop between rounds, paid for with the round's takings.
- Golden Parachutes for when the ground goes.
- Ranks, from Plus One to Honorary Life President.
- No chat, anywhere, on purpose.
Style of Play
Two ways to take turns. The shells behave the same in both.
One tank at a time, in turn. The traditional way, with time to watch.
Everyone plans at once, then every shell goes together. Orders are final once locked in.
The Gift Shop
Open between rounds, and once before the first, so nobody arrives with only the free shell.
- Kind Regards shellStandard shell. Free, endless, and not actually kind.
- No Offense shellBarely a scratch. For checking your aim before you really mean it.
- Per My Last Email shellHeavy shell. You were told. In writing.
- Housewarming Gift moundA large pile of dirt, delivered to the door. No damage, no receipt.
- Reply All clusterSplits at the top of its arc and bothers everyone nearby.
- Smells in the Morning napalmNapalm. Runs downhill and keeps burning, so do drive out of it.
- Property Value Adjuster diggerBores a deep shaft under the neighbours. The fall does the rest.
- With All Due Respect shellThere is no respect in this one. Levels hilltops.
- There Goes the Neighbourhood shellRearranges the map. Your insurance has been informed.
- Roach Coach atom bombAn atom bomb. Lunch is served, and only the roaches come back tomorrow.
- Golden Parachute parachuteFor when the ground, like your career, gives way.
After each round everyone is paid for damage done, kills, staying alive and winning. Your rank adds a little on top.
Around the Table
Guests (bots). Their temperament varies.
- Gary from Accountsreasonable
- Your Landlordchaotic
- The Internhopeless
- Head of Compliancemarksman
- Someone from HRreasonable
- The Neighbour's Cousinchaotic
- Work Experience Kevinhopeless
When one goes: “Gary from Accounts is no longer with the company.”
| Lovely Day | Barely a breath of wind. You have nothing else to blame. |
|---|---|
| Bit Breezy | A full gale, and it keeps changing its mind. |
| Light Drizzle | Mud. Driving burns more fuel and craters slump. |
| Bit Nippy | Snow. Slow going, but it does soften a fall. |
| Bit Murky | Thick fog. Your aim line gives up partway. |
| Scattered Showers | Mud and lightning. Stay off the hilltops. |
Your Rank
Six rungs. Each pays a little more prize money.
| Plus One | You were not on the list. Someone vouched for you, loudly. |
|---|---|
| Invited Guest | Your name is on the list now, and spelled correctly. |
| Regular | The staff know your order. They have stopped mentioning it. |
| Committee Member | You have been given a lanyard and several action points. |
|---|---|
| Chair of the Committee | You may now say ‘let’s take that offline’ and be obeyed. |
| Honorary Life President | Nobody remembers voting for you. Nobody dares revisit it. |
At home your rank is your own, and the bots aim better as it rises: they have noticed you. Online, rank points need a public game with at least two humans: bots do not vouch for anyone.
Online, in Testing
Built, and being tested. Not open to the public yet.
Online play is in the game and is being tried out privately. It is not public, and there is no date for when it will be.
- Friends lists, added by a short friend code.
- Friends-only games that you host yourself.
- Public gatherings, once there is a public server.
- Direct Connect on your own network, by address.
An account has no email and no password: the server just writes you down and gives you a code to share with friends.
There is no chat. No lobby chat, no match chat, no messages. That is on purpose. The only thing another player reads from you is your name.
Where It Runs
Nothing here is released. These are the machines it is being made on.
- WindowsIn development
- LinuxIn development
- AndroidBeing tested on a phone
- MacA build is being prepared
- OthersBeing looked at. No promises.
Every picture on this page is a screenshot the game took of itself, on a Linux desktop or an Android test phone. It is all work in progress.
Credits
The people and typefaces who did the hard parts.
An original game. Every name, weapon and line in it was made for it, and any resemblance to your colleagues is a coincidence we have chosen not to investigate.
Typefaces: Chakra Petch, by Cadson Demak, and IBM Plex Mono, by IBM, the same ones the game uses. Both are used under the SIL Open Font License, version 1.1: Chakra Petch licence, IBM Plex Mono licence.